Blame it on the Alcohol
by OddlyAlice
Summary: Naruto gets a little too drunk one night and ends up in a closet. With Sasuke.
1. Chapter 1

NPOV:

The first time it happened, I was drunk. It was at a party, and we were playing "Seven Minutes in Heaven", and really, at the time, I could have sworn he was a girl. With that delicate looking pale skin and silky black hair, who could blame me for getting confused? But I digress. When we got to the closet, it became very, VERY, clear that this was no shy, sweet girl who would be giggly and blushing at the thought of "making out". He PINNED me to the wall and started attacking my neck! Well, I wasn't going to stand for that, so of course I started fighting back. It had almost turned to full out war (which I was winning, of course) when the door swung open, and we heard a giggly "Whoops! Wrong room!" before the door swung shut again. That snapped me back to reality so fast I think I got whiplash, and I booked it. At that moment, I swore I was never drinking again.

SPOV:

The first time I saw him was at a party. I had been dragged there by my roommate, who had ditched me the second we arrived. I BROODED (Uchihas do NOT sulk, thank you very much) on the couch for while before an irritating pink-haired girl (what a ridiculous color) managed to rope me into a game of "Seven Minutes in Heaven". I mentally rolled my eyes (Uchihas also don't roll their eyes) as she dragged me to the side room where the game was being held. Sitting down and looking around, the prospects were grim. There was an overly happy boy in-dear god, was that spandex?, an unnaturally pale girl who was stuttering and blushing as she talked to Kiba, the roommate who had dragged me here (I made a mental note to kill him), a tired looking boy who was loudly proclaiming how troublesome this was, and a boy munching on some chips. Oh, and of course the pink-haired girl and her seemingly anorexic friend. I sighed imperceptibly and got comfortable. Obviously, it was going to be a long night. Bu then… then HE arrived with a loud, "Hey Sakura! What're we playing?". I could only stare at him. He was gorgeous, with bright sunshine yellow hair, bright blue eyes, bright orange clothing… Everything about him was bright, and quite frankly, I was dazzled. The game had just gotten much more interesting.

Since it started with Sakura and went clockwise, I had to wait for her and the unnaturally pale girl (Hinata, I think) to take their turns. I would've had to wait for Kiba too, but Hinata spun to him. She almost fainted as all the blood in her body rushed to her cheeks when he winked at her and grabbed her hand. And then, it was my turn. Now, there's something you should know. Being an Uchiha meant I was naturally better at everything, and so I can cheat adeptly at any game I choose. I know how to spin a bottle with just enough force to land on anyone I liked. Naturally, I chose the blond. By now, he appeared good and tipsy, tilting dangerously from side to side every now and then. I wanted to get to him before he actually passed. When it landed on him, he grinned before standing up and pulling me along a hallway, mumbling under his breath. "Yer pretteh… Betcha good kisser…" I ignored this, and as soon as we got inside the designated close, I pushed him against the wall and started attacking his neck. For a split second, he tensed up, but he quickly relaxed and yanked my head up to kiss me. Now, there's something else you should know about Uchihas. Nothing ever shocks or fazes us. We are calm and in control at all times. But when he kissed me, well. If Uchihas felt such a thing, I'd say it left me breathless. But we don't and so it didn't. It was momentary paralysis, if you must know. IT HAPPENS. But anyway, after I'd recovered from my _momentary paralysis_, I kissed him back. It was rough. It was fast. It was sloppy. In short, it was AMAZING. I immediately swore that I would never let him get away. Which reminded me… I drew my head back, breaking the kiss. He glared at me (It was all I could do not to drag him off and have my wicked way with him) and I opened my mouth to ask what his name was (and his number, and his email and his address… oh no, he was _never_ getting away) when the door swung open and that anorexic bitch giggled at us, "Whoops! Wrong room!" and shut the door again. I turned back to him, ready to begin asking my questions, when I noticed he had tensed up again. The next second he pushed me off and bolted for the door. Of course, I chased him, but he was too damn fast. Plus, that pink-haired demon got in my way with a shrill "Sasuke-kun! Are you leaving already?" When I finally broke free of her deceptively strong grip, I couldn't see his bright mop of hair anywhere. Cursing, I turned back to the pink chit. But then, looking at her, I remembered the way he had greeted her when the game started. They clearly knew each other. She must know his name! "Oh, Sakura," I said, as sweetly as I could. "You know the blond boy? The one I was partnered with for the game?" She smiled coyly, or what she must have thought was coyly. (I tried to hide my revulsion) "Why, what do you want to know about Naruto for?" she slurred. Great, she was drunk. But I had a name! Naruto… Now I just needed to get a last name or phone number, and I was set! Elated, I turned back to my pink-haired savior (At that point, I was feeling a lot more generous towards her description) only to find her passed out on the couch, snoring. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- My internal scream of rage was cut off by the arrival of the bored boy. "Tch, how troublesome. Now someone has to cart Sakura home and Naruto's not around." My thoughts screeched to a halt. He knew Naruto too? I turned to him. "You know Naruto?" He blinked sleepily at me, saying, "Yeah, it's kinda hard not to know Naruto. Especially considering this is his party." This was his party. Meaning, _this was his house_. Yessssssssssssssssss. I could just wait somewhere until all the people were gone and talk to him then!

Wait. Wait a second. I couldn't do that. He would probably call the cops on me. Uchihas don't get arrested. How could I get in touch with him in a legal and non-threatening way? In a burst of inspiration, I knew. I turned back to the sleeping Sakura. "Kukukukuku…."


	2. Chapter 2

NPOV:

I dashed around the corner to the kitchen and paused for breath. I slowly peeked back around the edge, searching for that pale face and black hair. When none were to be seen, I breathed a sigh of relief and sank to my kitchen's floor.

So. This was not good. I had just made out with some guy in a closet. Shit, what was I going to do now?

Deny. Deny and pray I never saw that deceptively pretty boy again. Yeah, that would work. Plan complete, I looked up and let out a _very manly _(no matter what anyone tells you) shriek.

"Oy, idiot. What're you screaming at me for?" Kiba griped, rubbing at his ears with the hand not wrapped around Hinata's waist. "You startled me!" I snapped back. "What are _you_ doing sneaking up on people like that, dog-breath?" He snapped his fingers in my face, making me flinch back instinctively. "Sneaking? Please. You've been sitting there for ten minutes staring at the ground and muttering to yourself. People were getting concerned you'd finally snapped." I clambered to my feet, groaning as my muscles protested the shift in position. "Yeah, well, you'd be a little insane too if you just had the night I had." I grumbled. Kiba grinned, suddenly pointing to my neck. "Well, it couldn't have been that bad, judging from those hickies!" I let out another _very manly_ shriek and raced for the bathroom.

After forcibly ejecting a couple making out in the shower, to their many complaints and grumbles, I finally looked in the mirror. "Oh my god," I whispered, staring at the mass of small purple and red marks now adorning my neck.

"Whoa," Kiba said, entering the bathroom behind me. "I couldn't see them all in the kitchen's light, but man, that's a ton of hickies. Musta been one aggressive chick." I groaned, sinking down onto solid white cover of the toilet. "I wish."

Kiba frowned in confusion. "Do you mean… it wasn't… a girl?" he asked carefully. I groaned again, dropping my head into my hands. "Whoaaaaaaa," Kiba said, eyes wide. "Who was it?" I slowly shook my head. "I don't know. He was really pale, and kinda girly in the right light, and he had this duck-butt hair." During my description, Kiba's eyes had slowly gotten bigger and bigger. By the end, they were the size of golf balls. "Heh heh heh…" he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I think I might know who you're talking about…"

I was on him in a second. "WHO? WHO DID THIS TO MEEEEE?" I screamed in his face, shaking his shoulders. "Kind of… melodramatic… don't… you think…?" he managed to croak out as his head flopped back and forth. I released him. "MELODRAMATIC? What am I going to do tomorrow? Hmmmm? I can't go out like this! Tell me…" I grabbed his shoulders again. "Who it is." I stared at him so intensely I was a little surprised his eyebrows didn't catch fire. Kiba sighed and looked away. "From your description, it sounds a lot like my roommate, Sasuke. Here." He pulled out his cell phone. "This is from a party we went to a while back." The shot showed Kiba laughing and goofing for the camera, and in the background sat a pale, dark-haired boy watching everyone with a slightly disdainful look. "That's him!" I gasped, pointing at the slightly grainy image. That duck-butt hair was unmistakable.

As I continued to examine the picture, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. It was from Sakura, and I forgot about my own concerns for a second. She had been pretty drunk last time I had seen her, so she probably needed me to take her home.

I flipped open my phone, but instead of a drunken plea for help, it was just two words.

_Hello dobe. _


End file.
